Motorcycle Christmas: The best gifts Santa could bring a motorcycle rider
Christmas isn’t only about gifts. But, let’s be honest, gifts make things a whole lot better. Santa, the mystical, magical being that he is, has the sole job and purpose of giving you the gifts you’re hoping for. And sure, it really teeters on whether or not you’ve been naughty or nice, but that’s a personal conversation we won’t get into right now.
So let’s say that you get to have a one-on-one conversation with the big man in the red suit. What would you ask him for? If the sky is the limit and he’s got some magical elves that are capable of creating whatever you want, what would you ask for?
Well, I’ve had a thought about it. Okay, I’ve thought about it for a while, and here are a couple gifts that I’d encourage Santa to send down my chimney.
A jet engine for my motorcycle, so I can vroom through the sky above traffic
You know what I hate? Traffic. That’s especially true during the holidays when everyone is traveling to see family members they may, or may not, want to visit. While being stuck in traffic is annoying for anyone, it’s especially irritating for us motorcycle riders. I want to feel the freedom, and nothing crushes freedom more than bumper-to-bumper traffic. But if I had a jet engine on my bike, I could fly above the traffic. I might have to watch out for geese, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.
A device that signals when minivan soccer moms are too close
Soccer moms are dangerous. Don’t let them fool you with their innocent looking minivans, because those tanks are anything but innocent. They drive around staring at their phones while trying to mediate the fights their kids are having in the back seat. They’re here to cause damage, and even if you feel like you’re fully visible, they still manage to somehow not see you. But if I have a device that lets me know they’re in the area, I can avoid them like the plague.
Santa creates a motorcycle-only road
The roads are the freedom that we crave, and motorcycle riders love riding with each other. It’s great to be surrounded by people that love the same thing you do, especially if that means no cagers on the road to ruin your life. But a road for motorcycle riders only? That sounds like Heaven and the Promised Land to me!
A giant umbrella that floats over my motorcycle when it rains
You know what I like about Mary Poppins? She’s practical. She’s always got that magical umbrella to help her out, and I think it’s about time she shares a little bit of the magic. I hate when torrential downpours get in the way of my motorcycle riding, but if Santa can give me a little bit of Mary Poppins magic, I can have a giant umbrella that just follows me.
Motorcycle gloves that shoot firework hand signals into the sky
Okay, so I get that this isn’t the most rational choice. But when we’re dealing with Santa, do we need to actually be rational? No, the sky is the limit! How about some gloves that send off fireworks when you’re going to make any sudden moves? This is especially great at night when cagers claim to not see you. It’s just a win-win situation.
A small box that becomes a full cabin with the press of a button
Who doesn’t love riding to new destinations? That’s especially the case when it comes to rallies, but there’s nothing I hate more than having to give the soul of my first born child to book a hotel or reasonably priced camping spot. You’ve got to plan months in advance and hope no other friends join last minute. But if I have a little box that can turn into a full-blown campsite, complete with an awesome log cabin and all the fixings you can possibly need, I will experience complete happiness. Santa has a full workshop of elves that can make this possible. Use them or lose them, buddy!
The list is endless, and while only a few of these are unrealistic (okay, all of them) it’s fun to keep your imagination going. Whatever you choose to wish for this year, enjoy the holidays with friends and family, and watch out for those soccer moms!
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