The Brain Bucket

Why My Motorcycle is Better than a Boyfriend

Feb 5, 2018 8:00:00 AM / by Jo Kelley

Reasons a motorcycle is better than a boyfriend.

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, my colleague thought it was funny to publish his list of reasons why a motorcycle is better than a girlfriend. I always appreciate a witty burn, but as a woman, I'm not just going to stand idly by without a rebuttal. To all our brothers out there, here's my response:

Ladies, we know what we like, and that’s a good ride. Think about it, your bike tells the truth and will always trust you; your bike expects you to call all the shots, and you are always in control. Think your bike isn’t the best lover you’ve ever had? Let’s take speed dating to a whole new level.


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1) When baldness occurs, you just replace the tires.

Go bald? Go home.

 2) Your bike doesn’t care about how many bikes you’ve ridden in the past.

 Or if you think of them from time to time...


3) Motorcycles don’t have late nights out with other motorcycles.

If they did though, that's where I'd want to be.


4) Motorcycles don’t have annoying friends.

 There's always one...


5) Your motorcycle can go as long as you want to.

 If you know what I mean...


6) Motorcycles won’t lie to you or go for rides behind your back.

 Oh, yeah. I totally believe you right there.


7) Your bike doesn’t make you feel bad if you make a mistake.

 They never let you forget it, do they?


8) A motorcycles doesn’t ogle other motorcycles.

 But I can ogle all day long.


9) Bikes don’t snore or steal the covers.

 So many sleepless nights.


10) You don’t have to constantly clean up after your bike.

 I JUST cleaned that!


11)  Your bike won’t complain about your mother or your friends.

 I don't wanna hear it.


12) If your motorcycle is too soft, all you need to do is get new shocks.



13)  When you get sick of your bike, you can always sell it!



Happy Valentine's Day.

As hilarious as this is, yeah, I'm just messing with you guys. It's always good to read a bit of funny motorcycle stories every once in awhile, and you're not that bad. I always respect my fellow rider. I just had to get you back, you know. Shiny side up, brothers and rumble on!

- Jo


Sell or trade a motorcycle the easy way, get your free cash offer.

Need fast cash? Want to trade a motorcycle for a new ride? Trade a motorcycle online or sell for cash to a ready buyer!

Get My Cash Offer

Jo Kelley

Written by Jo Kelley

I cover the history of motorcycles, motorcycle news, and tell the stories of some of the most popular brands.